Warriors Share Wiki:Create/Finished Reviews/Archive 1
Allegiance of the Ancients My favourite story to date! Comments and improvements? LeopardclawTrick or Treat?It's Halloween… 1,000 Edits! 14:55, October 23, 2011 (UTC) : Seven. It's good-very good, but my head's spinning a bit at the plot. GhostglowBOO! 15:01, October 23, 2011 (UTC) :: 8'. Same reason as Ghostglow. xD. 00:43, October 31, 2011 (UTC) DewClan's Grace Any comments? Improvements? ^_^ GhostglowBOO! 14:57, October 23, 2011 (UTC) : I love this. 8. It has great plot and it's a bit upsetting. I love upsettng stories! This is really good. LeopardclawTrick or Treat?It's Halloween… 1,000 Edits! 15:06, October 23, 2011 (UTC) :: Same as Leopard. Great job. :) 00:49, October 31, 2011 (UTC) The Spark Eh...I'm not so proud of this one. Comments? 20:20, October 30, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing : I really like this! It has a good plotline, and doesn't move too quickly, but quickly enough to keep you interested. I'm going to give it and 8. I did see some typos, and there is some room for inprovement, but overall, very well done! LeopardclawTrick or Treat?It's Halloween… 1,000 Edits! 20:31, October 30, 2011 (UTC) :: 9. Same reason as Leopard. [[User:Graceglow|'Ghost]][[User talk:Graceglow|'glow']]Watch out, there's ghosts about! [[Graceglow|'400 EDITS!']] 20:37, October 30, 2011 (UTC) Fixed a few typos, did some overall touch-up. Thanks guys. :3 20:58, October 30, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing Deathberries Series It's awesome. Any comments? FP |̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| 21:29, November 6, 2011 (UTC) Oh. my. gosh. Forest, I think this is your best one. 10, for sure. I didn't find a single error. 21:10, November 8, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing Thanks! :) I had fun writing it. FP |̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| 19:49, November 15, 2011 (UTC) The Start Well... its my first book and im still working on it but any tweaks for right now? lol i need ideas too. ♪ ★Hollycloud♪ ★ 20:52, November 20, 2011 (UTC) I like it! Hmm, I'll give it an 8. I some grammar mistakes, and it could be expanded a little. 22:37, November 21, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing Corruption Within This is definitely my best, and I'm in love with this story, I'm determined to finish it, but as long as you guys want me too (If you guys really like it, I'll make it a series XD) Who you going to call?Ghostbusters 21:45, November 21, 2011 (UTC) I love it! 9, because it has good plot and good charcters. There are a few (very few) spelling mistakes, but overall, excellent! Silly Cat Face! No! Silly Leopardclaw! 07:31, November 22, 2011 (UTC) The Ember Second on in Burning Scarlet Series. Only on chapter one right now. Comments? 21:23, October 30, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing In case anyone is wondering, I am now on Chapter 5. :P 20:04, November 8, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing If anyone's interested, the story just got kinda exciting in my opinion. :3 I be on Chapter 7 now. 00:34, November 16, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing The story is all finished! 01:58, November 20, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing I love it! 9. Brilliant the whole way through. 09:37, January 5, 2012 (UTC) Silent as Snow Third one in Burning Scarlet Series. I think it's one of my best. Comments? I'm only on chapter 2. :P 22:43, November 21, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing Me too! 9. Excellent all round! 09:38, January 5, 2012 (UTC) It All Begins Merp-a-Derp. What've y'alls got to say? I think it'd my best work so far. 03:37, November 22, 2011 (UTC) Wonderful! 9, because I saw a couple grammar mistakes. xD 22:37, November 26, 2011 (UTC) Shadewing Lurrverly. 9. 08:42, February 23, 2012 (UTC) The Sweetest Flower My first one. *Smiles proudly* What do you guys think? 21:58 Mon Dec 5 7. It was good, but there were some layout issues. I'd suggest splitting it up into paragraphs. Make a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, or a new event or time or something happens. For example: Leopardclaw padded into the den. "Hi Sweetflower!" she said. "Hello Leopardclaw," Sweetflower replied. "Would you like to go hunting?" Leopardclaw agreed, and the two cats set off. Night was falling as the two cats returned. And et cetera. 09:42, January 5, 2012 (UTC) Loyalty is What Matters Oi, I suppose that I should get this reviewed. There are seven completed chapters and chapter eight is in process. I'm quite proud of it. Comments? Improvements? 22:02, December 5, 2011 (UTC) Great! 8. In the first chapter there are some layout issues, but I think that's more that you weren't paying attention. Lovely plot, great all round. 09:48, January 5, 2012 (UTC) Fading Darkness (Series) I (personally) love this series (It's one of my best series XD), it's certainly different from my others XD, I hope you guys loved it too XD. Still need to tune it up on the grammar and spelling side, so you won't have to tell me that XD. And I have hidden messages, so it's more fun ^_^ (And yes, the plot is going to heat up in the second book XD) A star, a star, dancing in the sky... 21:29, January 15, 2012 (UTC) Gaah, fail. I though it was a critique XDDD Imma give 9. It's awesome and gripping :D 21:36, January 15, 2012 (UTC) Lol, thanks XD, I don't think I'm ready to handle critiques yet, maybe in the summer, when I'm relaxed XD A star, a star, dancing in the sky... 22:35, February 9, 2012 (UTC) It was wonderful! Same rating as Leopard. I found a couple punctuation/grammar errors. Here's one:"Dragon scares me, so does Shadow." ''You should change the comma to a semicolon, or add an "and" after the comma. And there were some others, but I'm not going to put them all on here. Great job! 02:42, February 23, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Sunstreak's Legacy Throw it at me. Not much for you to review on though. xD 00:38, March 19, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing 9, I love the idea, very original. Though Twilight........... 18:40, March 23, 2012 (UTC) I know, I know. I hate Twilight too, Leopard. The prologue has been edited! 19:28, March 23, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Imaginary First songfic review! Personally I like this a lot. 17:59, April 8, 2012 (UTC) Great song, great job. 9. 17:04, April 10, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Stand in the Rain My best one ever. 19:06, April 8, 2012 (UTC) Great song choice, great writing. 9. 15:55, April 10, 2012 (UTC) The Storm I'm only on to chapter two, but I want any comments no matter how bad. [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'♥']][[User:Avalanchestrike|'A']][[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'v']] [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'l']][[Avalanchepaw's Past|'a']][[Avalanchestrike|'n']][[Darkening Clouds|'c']][[Spiderwillow|'h']][[Project:Imagine|'e']][[Project:Create|' Love']][[Swampheart's Love|'♥']] 16:54, April 7, 2012 (UTC) 7.5. It's very short without much detail and kind of choppy. But the beginning was nicely done, it grabbed me and kept me reading. 17:12, April 10, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Spikyfur and Ladybug I wanna put it up as my first spotlight, so I need a review.[[User:Rowanfall|''Rowan]]''fall''[[The Rowanfall Tale| *Glass Clink*]][[The Rowanfall Tale| Poison!]][[The New Clan| I mean...]][[Short Stories of Love| Cheers!]] 04:06, April 9, 2012 (UTC) 8. It's good. A nag: In the prologue you put 'The she-cat (who was obviously called Ladybird)'. I didn't think that flowed too well. You also did it later on, something about small muscles. It's obvious her name, so you don't really need to point it out, if you see where I'm coming from. 16:03, April 10, 2012 (UTC) I see your point, Leo, but I didn't have a character named Ladybird XD (don't I know who you meant :P)''Rowan''''fall''[[The Rowanfall Tale| *Glass Clink*]][[The Rowanfall Tale| Poison!]][[The New Clan| I mean...]][[Short Stories of Love| Cheers!]] 19:25, April 12, 2012 (UTC) Ladybug, sorry. I'' call them ladybirds. 19:35, April 12, 2012 (UTC) that's...odd. but who am I to question the great Leo? :3[[User:Rowanfall|''Rowan]]''fall''[[The Rowanfall Tale| *Glass Clink*]][[The Rowanfall Tale| Poison!]][[The New Clan| I mean...]][[Short Stories of Love| Cheers!]] 21:05, April 12, 2012 (UTC) Oi, I'm British, and that is what we call them. We found a brain damaged one once... XD 21:08, April 12, 2012 (UTC) LeafClan-Lies of Life I don't really know how much I like this. This series has lain dormant for a while. 17:59, April 8, 2012 (UTC) Darkening Clouds My fisrt completed story, but I want comments so I can fix it up or leave it like that. [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'♥']][[User:Avalanchestrike|'A']][[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'v']] [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'l']][[Avalanchepaw's Past|'a']][[Avalanchestrike|'n']][[Darkening Clouds|'c']][[Spiderwillow|'h']][[Project:Imagine|'e']][[Project:Create|''' Love']][[Swampheart's Love|'♥']] 00:35, April 11, 2012 (UTC) I really like this story. It's got drama, romance, suspense- and the makings of a great story. My only criticisms would be that sometimes the sentences don't make sense unless I really think about them. E.g: ''"A storm that if they survive our attack, Stormblade," Blackstorm growled. ''That if? And what will it do? Also, you tend to slip a bit into present tense. And lastly, when someone is speaking or even thinking, you don't need to give the pronoun (e.g he, she, etc) a capital letter unless there's a exclamation mark or full stop in there. It's still the same sentence. For example: "But I wanted to join this clan," '''H'e snarled. "You'll regret your decision, Blizzardstar. Mark my words!" h'e continued before stalking away into the shadows of the Twolegplace. "But I wanted to join this clan," he snarled. "You'll regret your decision, Blizzardstar. Mark my words!" He continued before stalking away into the shadows of the Twolegplace. With all these things aside, this story's got some really great potential, so I'm giving it a 9. Millie[[User talk:Feathertail Millie|'I've]] [[User blog:Feathertail Millie|'got']] [[The Timekeepers|'beard']] [[User:Feathertail Millie/Charart Challenge|'like']] [[Loner's Freedom|'Hagrid!']] 22:17, April 14, 2012 (UTC) The Timekeepers Ah, gotta love Coldplay sometimes. That was my inspiration for this story. So, comments? :3 Millie[[User talk:Feathertail Millie|'I've']] [[User blog:Feathertail Millie|'got']] [[The Timekeepers|'beard']] [[User:Feathertail Millie/Charart Challenge|'like']] [[Loner's Freedom|'Hagrid!']] 11:21, April 13, 2012 (UTC) I could comment... Lemme read it :) LittlewillowLAUGH LAUGH LAUGH 00:43, April 14, 2012 (UTC) Huh... maybe coming back to the P:C really''was'' a good idea. XD Millie[[User talk:Feathertail Millie|'I've']] [[User blog:Feathertail Millie|'got']] [[The Timekeepers|'beard']] [[User:Feathertail Millie/Charart Challenge|'like']] [[Loner's Freedom|'Hagrid!']] 22:03, April 14, 2012 (UTC) Oh my soo sorry! I'm really really busy :( will be done by May 5! Little! Was here ;) 11:41, May 2, 2012 (UTC) Meh, I suck. 8, the characters are really well developed. The plot seems good, you just are not finished yet. Very well done, Feather! Keep writing! Little! Was here ;) 21:01, May 7, 2012 (UTC) Oh yeah, that's right, this is for finished fanfiction. Do not despair! I will finish it in three chapters! :D Millie[[User talk:Feathertail Millie|'I've']] [[User blog:Feathertail Millie|'got']] [[The Timekeepers|'beard']] [[User:Feathertail Millie/Charart Challenge|'like']] [[Loner's Freedom|'Hagrid!']] 09:54, May 8, 2012 (UTC) Did you still need this up? Just wondering, because it's been 12 days. 15:29, May 20, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Been 2 weeks. Archiving. 20:04, May 22, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Avalanchepaw's Past Man, I hadn't been trying to finish this story. But now I'm trying to finish it up. [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'♥']][[User:Avalanchestrike|'A']][[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'v']] [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'l']][[Avalanchepaw's Past|'a']][[Avalanchestrike|'n']][[Darkening Clouds|'c']][[Spiderwillow|'h']][[Project:Imagine|'e']][[Project:Create|''' Love']][[Swampheart's Love|'♥']] 20:50, May 6, 2012 (UTC) 8. Nice plot. Just a little rushed and a bit choppy. I look forward to seeing the rest of your work. Good job. :) 21:01, May 8, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing What do you mean by rushed and a bit choppy? I sort of don't get what it means. [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'♥']][[User:Avalanchestrike|'A']][[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'v']] [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'l']][[Avalanchepaw's Past|'a']][[Avalanchestrike|'n']][[Darkening Clouds|'c']][[Spiderwillow|'h']][[Project:Imagine|'e']][[Project:Create|' Love']][[Swampheart's Love|'♥']] 23:22, May 8, 2012 (UTC) Sorry for the confusion. When I say rushed, I mean you don't take time to really develop the plot that much. Everything just kind of suddenly happens. You did a good job of developing, but there was a bit of rushing. The only I can explain choppy is give you an example: He saw a book on the ground. He went to pick it up. He opened it. He read the first page. Your story wasn't very choppy, but a couple parts were. 01:02, May 9, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Oh, that's what you mean. I'll try to fix that now. [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'♥']][[User:Avalanchestrike|'A']][[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'v']] [[User blog:Avalanchestrike|'l']][[Avalanchepaw's Past|'a']][[Avalanchestrike|'n']][[Darkening Clouds|'c']][[Spiderwillow|'h']][[Project:Imagine|'e']][[Project:Create|' Love']][[Swampheart's Love|'♥']] 17:42, May 12, 2012 (UTC) DeadClans: Series 1 Book 2 I want someone's opinion on it, so far. [[User:Splashcloud|'Splashcloud']] Fungus is among us 04:29, May 9, 2012 (UTC) I'll give it a 6.5. It's a creative storyline, but the plot is confusing. It's hard to tell what's going on or why things are happening. It's also short and doesn't have much detail. It's basically just one event after another. And there are a lot of grammar mistakes, mostly just spelling and capitalization errors. Also, this isn't part of the review, but, if you wanted, you could create a separate page for your allegiances so that they don't take up so much space. I really like your warrior names. They're very creative! 20:24, May 17, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Tails Entwined in Love I also need an opinion on this, so far. [[User:Splashcloud|'Splashcloud']] Fungus is among us 04:29, May 9, 2012 (UTC) I will give it an 8. It has a nice plotline and good imagery, but, like the other one, has a bit of a rushed plot and not much detail. Still, I love your names and you describe things in the story well. I like Watersong's character a lot. There were some grammar mistakes, but, once again, just some spelling errors and a few puncuation. Good job! 20:29, May 17, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Mirror Image Yesh, I know I'm not done, but since this is going to be my best story ever, I want your opnions on it so far, and yes, again I say, I know I'm not finished. x3 (Trying to get rid of brain blockage is hard enough with other stories x3) So yeah... (Unless I messed up and this is only for finished fanctions) whatever, time for more writing, ignore me, because mistakes are blarg x3) I am'Your worst nightmare' 23:16, May 14, 2012 (UTC) I will give it a 9. I really love the ascension of the plot! Although its a relaxed part right now, you keep a firm, tense undertone that makes it really good! The beginning was absolutely fabulous! It just grabbed me and pulled me right in. Great job! Also, your warrior names are so cool! Briarmoon and Flaresky are my favorites. But I did see a lot of grammar mistakes, like capitalization, spelling, and dialogue errors. Be sure to look over and fix those. Amazing start to what I'm sure will be an amazing story! 20:05, May 29, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Fixed all the mistakes I saw, and added more to the story x3, thanks :D. I am'Your worst nightmare' 19:05, June 2, 2012 (UTC) EDIT: Got to chapter 3, added some more to the other chapters, changed the intro, and added intros to the chapters :3. "That's a great idea!"'"Well, not really."' 23:13, June 6, 2012 (UTC) The Last Hope (Littlewillow's Edition) Yeah, it's two chapters. I want to get this project rolling! Little! Was here ;) 11:59, May 31, 2012 (UTC) I will give it an 8. The idea is really creative and I like the plot, but the story moves kind of slow in the middle. The prologue is especially good, because it really grabs the reader. I also saw quite a few grammar mistakes. Not a ton or anything, but still noticeable. They were mainly spelling and capitalization, with a couple other errors, but those are easily fixed. I like your story, and I can't wait for more of your work to be posted here. Nice job! 12:56, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing I give it an 8 too, I saw some spelling mistakes (Like thier ((Easily fixed x3)). The plot is good, the prologue is very awesome. But mainly what Shadeh said, some grammar mistakes. I like it Little :D. (Gawd, I'm bad at this x3) I am'Your worst nightmare' 19:37, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Sunstreak's Legacy Yeah, there's only like one chapter right now, but I need a review so I know how I'm doing. This is my biggest project right now, so I want to make it good! :3 19:41, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing I give it a 9 x3, close to a ten though, The plot is really excellent, the prologue was really interesting and descriptive. And the quick note made me laugh x3. I saw one spelling mistake (catlenghts) but meh, that's easily fixed :D. I really like it, Silver. I am'Your worst nightmare' 19:50, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Err...my name's Shadewing. xD. But thanks. 20:09, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing Arg! I'm so sorry x3, It's still awesome, you can now officially mistake me for someone else entirely x3. I am'Your worst nightmare' 20:12, June 2, 2012 (UTC) Clouds Boring title is boring. :3 I've been working on this one, but there's a lot to cover and edit before I finish. Well, this ''is my main focus for a bit...so I want to bring out its best. 12:17, June 7, 2012 (UTC) I give it a 9 1/2. It's very good, the characters are awesome, and the plot is great. I did see very small grammar mistakes, but other then that, it's very awesome :D. "That's a great idea!""Well, not really." 14:53, June 10, 2012 (UTC) Pffft, this is epic! I'm not finished it yet, but it get a 9 so far from me. <3 15:46, June 10, 2012 (UTC) Forgotten I want a rating, but some suggestions too. All my italics went away when I copied and pasted it, so don't mark me on those, please. Okay, it's open to anyone who wants to! [[User:Littlewillow|'Littlewillow!']][[USer talk:Littlewillow|''"Five millon cybermen, easy.]] [[Ambition|'One Doctor?]]'' Now you're scared!"'' 00:17, July 6, 2012 (UTC) I give it an 8.5. It had a nice plotline and some great parts to it, but as a whole it was a little confusing and hard to keep up with. Italics excluded, there were some grammar mistakes, mainly capitalization and dialogue errors. Make sure that whenever someone speaks, you create a new line for the dialogue. Here's an example: Wrong way: "I like pie," Jasmine said. "Me too!" exclaimed Harry. Right way: "I like pie," Jasmine said. "Me too!" exclaimed Harry. Well, overall I thought it was a good story. I'm looking forward to seeing your future works. :) 14:18, July 7, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing A Wind In The Night It isn't finished. Part of Chapter "Pushing Forward" is still incomplete. Go ahead, rate it. :) 13:36, July 14, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing It's been 6 days. This is why people need to check this page routinely. There's too many users who are just sitting there waiting for a review. >.> 20:33, July 20, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing '''9 <3 And Shadeh, let's admit it. This project is dying, cause frankly no-one cares. Apart from us. I'm not gonna let it go, but I can just feel it turning into dust around me. I don't know what else to do. 20:49, July 20, 2012 (UTC) This project ''will not die. ''We can't let that happen. It's a great project. We just need to think of an idea. 15:09, July 21, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing